Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
How to Disc Golf!
How To Play Disc Golf
Disc golf, also referred to as Frisbee Golf, folf, and frolf, is a simple and cheap sport available to all types of people from young children to seniors and beginners to professionals. The sport is very similar to golf except you use discs in place of clubs or balls. A disc golf course comprises of 9 to 18 holes that have tee boxes, baskets, and different pars. The baskets at the end of each hole would be the equivalent of the hole in golf. You keep score based on how many throws it takes you to get from the tee to the basket on each hole and should try to get the lowest possible score. Disc golf is fun and a great form of exercise for anyone no matter what your abilities or physical fitness level is.
Things you’ll need:
A disc
Instructions:
1. Acquire a disc
2. Learn to throw the disc in a way that is most comfortable to you.
3. Go to a disc golf course and begin playing!
Tips & Warnings:
Beginners should start with a light disc that flies straight.
You should keep the disc flat when releasing and perfect your form before adding too much power.
Try to keep the disc close to your chest and release as flat as possible.
Do not run up to throw the disc. Take a single step and release.
There are three general types of discs: a driver, a midrange, and a putter. You don’t need all three to play, but want to invest in a wider array of discs once you get the hang of the sport.
Always watch your disc after release. It is easy to lose in wooded areas.
Do not be discouraged watching more experienced players. Everyone started at your level at one point or another.
Disc golf, also referred to as Frisbee Golf, folf, and frolf, is a simple and cheap sport available to all types of people from young children to seniors and beginners to professionals. The sport is very similar to golf except you use discs in place of clubs or balls. A disc golf course comprises of 9 to 18 holes that have tee boxes, baskets, and different pars. The baskets at the end of each hole would be the equivalent of the hole in golf. You keep score based on how many throws it takes you to get from the tee to the basket on each hole and should try to get the lowest possible score. Disc golf is fun and a great form of exercise for anyone no matter what your abilities or physical fitness level is.
Things you’ll need:
A disc
Instructions:
1. Acquire a disc
2. Learn to throw the disc in a way that is most comfortable to you.
3. Go to a disc golf course and begin playing!
Tips & Warnings:
Beginners should start with a light disc that flies straight.
You should keep the disc flat when releasing and perfect your form before adding too much power.
Try to keep the disc close to your chest and release as flat as possible.
Do not run up to throw the disc. Take a single step and release.
There are three general types of discs: a driver, a midrange, and a putter. You don’t need all three to play, but want to invest in a wider array of discs once you get the hang of the sport.
Always watch your disc after release. It is easy to lose in wooded areas.
Do not be discouraged watching more experienced players. Everyone started at your level at one point or another.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
On Love
On love:
Fuck all the pop song puppy love bullshit. Your heart skipping a beat isn't love, it's cardiac arrhythmia. It's not about shortness of breath, either, or how turned on you get or whether you tell yourself you'd throw yourself in front of a bus for her or whatever. You can convince yourself of a lot about how you feel and what you would do in exchange for regular oral sex.
Love is when she drives you insane sometimes. And I don't mean merely "aggravating" or "annoying," I mean flat-out fucking in. Sane. And in a way nobody else can do it in a million years. She'll drive you to the point where you'd gouge out your own eyeball with a melon baller or smack your scrotum a half-dozen times with a ball peen hammer if it means you can be done with this conversation. She'll make you want to chew your own arm off to get out of talking about this. And I don't care how many fucking times you've had this conversation, each time, you know you'll have it again:
Her: I thought you turned the heat on.
You: I did.
Her: Well, I'm still cold. Are you sure you did it right?
You: Yes, I'm pretty sure I know how to turn on a thermostat.
Her: 'Cause you know you have to flip the switch to "heat" and....
You: Honey! I know! How to turn on! A thermostat! I went to college for it and everything.
Her: Well, I don't feel any heat blowing in here.
You: I know. I think you broke the thermostat again.
Her: I didn't break it.
You: Yes, you did, you put that halogen lamp right next to it again.
Her: That doesn't do anything.
You: Yes, it does.
Her: I thought you fixed it?
You: I did fix it, and you broke it again.
Her: Are you sure you fixed it right?
You: Yes, goddammit, I fixed it right.
Her: How do you know you fixed it?
You: 'Cause it worked when I fixed it!
Her: Well, it's not working now.
You: 'Cause you broke it again!
Her: How'd I break it?
You: You put the goddamn, fucking lamp next to it!
Her: I don't see why a lamp would break a thermostat.
You: OK. I'm going to explain this. One more time. Slowly. Thermostats have a coil inside them that expands and contracts based on the temperature. This is how they know when it is hotter than the setting of the A/C, so it can cool the room off, or colder than the setting of the heating, so it can heat the room up. Halogen lamps generate heat. Halogen lamps generate a lot of heat. That's why you burn your fingers when you touch the bulbs after they've been on for a while. So when you put a halogen lamp next to a thermostat, it causes the coil to keep expanding and expanding and expanding past the point it's intended to expand. This makes the thermostat think it's really, really hot all the time, and it makes the coil less sensitive in the future, and it'll eventually break the coil so I'll have to replace the thermostat.
Her: That doesn't sound right.
You: Trust me. It's right.
Her: How do you know?
You: BECAUSE I TOOK SIXTH GRADE FUCKING PHYSICS, OK?!
Her: Well, I don't think they should make thermostats that can be broken by something little like a lamp.
You: Fine. Don't think that. Write a letter to the manufacturers. Write a letter to universities and tell them to build a better thermostat. I don't fucking care. But that's how they make them. That's why I keep moving the lamp, that's why I keep telling you not to put it back to the right of the bookcase, that's why I've had to fix the thermostat four fucking times now. Stop! Putting! The lamp! Right! Next! To the thermostat!
Her: But on the other side of the bookcase, the front of the hallway is dark, and I can't see inside my gift closet.
You: Well, you can turn on the hall light to go through your gift closet, or you can sit here and be cold! Your choice, honey!
Her:
You:
Her:
You:
Her: I don't think you fixed the thermostat right.
You: GOD-MOTHERFUCKING-DAMMIT, I'M GOING TO FIX THAT MOTHERFUCKING THERMOSTAT TOMORROW, AND I SWEAR TO MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST IF YOU PUT THE LAMP NEAR THE THERMOSTAT AGAIN, I WILL SMASH IT TO A MILLION FUCKING PIECES AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR GODDAMN THROAT!!! MOTHERFUCK ME, JESUS!!!!!!
And if the seventh time you have that conversation, knowing full well there will be an eighth time, you'd still rather have that conversation again than imagine a world she's not in, you're in love.
Especially if you do fix that thermostat... again... the next day, and not just so she'll shut up about it, but because you really don't want her to be cold anymore.
Love is when she drives you insane sometimes. And I don't mean merely "aggravating" or "annoying," I mean flat-out fucking in. Sane. And in a way nobody else can do it in a million years. She'll drive you to the point where you'd gouge out your own eyeball with a melon baller or smack your scrotum a half-dozen times with a ball peen hammer if it means you can be done with this conversation. She'll make you want to chew your own arm off to get out of talking about this. And I don't care how many fucking times you've had this conversation, each time, you know you'll have it again:
Her: I thought you turned the heat on.
You: I did.
Her: Well, I'm still cold. Are you sure you did it right?
You: Yes, I'm pretty sure I know how to turn on a thermostat.
Her: 'Cause you know you have to flip the switch to "heat" and....
You: Honey! I know! How to turn on! A thermostat! I went to college for it and everything.
Her: Well, I don't feel any heat blowing in here.
You: I know. I think you broke the thermostat again.
Her: I didn't break it.
You: Yes, you did, you put that halogen lamp right next to it again.
Her: That doesn't do anything.
You: Yes, it does.
Her: I thought you fixed it?
You: I did fix it, and you broke it again.
Her: Are you sure you fixed it right?
You: Yes, goddammit, I fixed it right.
Her: How do you know you fixed it?
You: 'Cause it worked when I fixed it!
Her: Well, it's not working now.
You: 'Cause you broke it again!
Her: How'd I break it?
You: You put the goddamn, fucking lamp next to it!
Her: I don't see why a lamp would break a thermostat.
You: OK. I'm going to explain this. One more time. Slowly. Thermostats have a coil inside them that expands and contracts based on the temperature. This is how they know when it is hotter than the setting of the A/C, so it can cool the room off, or colder than the setting of the heating, so it can heat the room up. Halogen lamps generate heat. Halogen lamps generate a lot of heat. That's why you burn your fingers when you touch the bulbs after they've been on for a while. So when you put a halogen lamp next to a thermostat, it causes the coil to keep expanding and expanding and expanding past the point it's intended to expand. This makes the thermostat think it's really, really hot all the time, and it makes the coil less sensitive in the future, and it'll eventually break the coil so I'll have to replace the thermostat.
Her: That doesn't sound right.
You: Trust me. It's right.
Her: How do you know?
You: BECAUSE I TOOK SIXTH GRADE FUCKING PHYSICS, OK?!
Her: Well, I don't think they should make thermostats that can be broken by something little like a lamp.
You: Fine. Don't think that. Write a letter to the manufacturers. Write a letter to universities and tell them to build a better thermostat. I don't fucking care. But that's how they make them. That's why I keep moving the lamp, that's why I keep telling you not to put it back to the right of the bookcase, that's why I've had to fix the thermostat four fucking times now. Stop! Putting! The lamp! Right! Next! To the thermostat!
Her: But on the other side of the bookcase, the front of the hallway is dark, and I can't see inside my gift closet.
You: Well, you can turn on the hall light to go through your gift closet, or you can sit here and be cold! Your choice, honey!
Her:
You:
Her:
You:
Her: I don't think you fixed the thermostat right.
You: GOD-MOTHERFUCKING-DAMMIT, I'M GOING TO FIX THAT MOTHERFUCKING THERMOSTAT TOMORROW, AND I SWEAR TO MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST IF YOU PUT THE LAMP NEAR THE THERMOSTAT AGAIN, I WILL SMASH IT TO A MILLION FUCKING PIECES AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR GODDAMN THROAT!!! MOTHERFUCK ME, JESUS!!!!!!
And if the seventh time you have that conversation, knowing full well there will be an eighth time, you'd still rather have that conversation again than imagine a world she's not in, you're in love.
Especially if you do fix that thermostat... again... the next day, and not just so she'll shut up about it, but because you really don't want her to be cold anymore.
*note - I am not the author of this, but believe in its words.
Scott Pilgrim vs The World
I watched this movie tonight and thought it was going to be good due to all the hype and nerdy-ness of it. I was sorely disappointed.
The plot jumps around and makes no sense at times, the video game references were more or less unneeded, and the plot just wasn't good in general. I did enjoy the fight scenes, however. I don't understand why everyone in the movie had super powers, yet couldn't do anything with themselves except live in a 1 bedroom apartment with 3 other people. I also couldn't understand what made this hipster chick so special. All in all, it wasn't a horribad movie, but not a great one either. The reviews it got were fairly accurate.
I would not recommend spending money on this, but if you have free time, go ahead and waste it with this movie. It would probably also be amazing if you smoked right before, but I don't smoke so...
The plot jumps around and makes no sense at times, the video game references were more or less unneeded, and the plot just wasn't good in general. I did enjoy the fight scenes, however. I don't understand why everyone in the movie had super powers, yet couldn't do anything with themselves except live in a 1 bedroom apartment with 3 other people. I also couldn't understand what made this hipster chick so special. All in all, it wasn't a horribad movie, but not a great one either. The reviews it got were fairly accurate.
I would not recommend spending money on this, but if you have free time, go ahead and waste it with this movie. It would probably also be amazing if you smoked right before, but I don't smoke so...
Saturday, August 28, 2010
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